Finding Faith
by CrystalSaffron
Summary: Edmund stops by before heading to the train station to talk to Susan. One shot. pre-The Last Battle. AU. No longer a one shot!
1. Chapter 1

Story: Finding Faith  
Author: CrystalSaffron  
Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, I'm just borrowing them for my own nefarious purposes! Haha, not really, but they do belong to C.S. Lewis.  
Description: One shot of how I would have liked a scene in the Last Battle to go. It's AU but I think Susan deserved a better ending then she got, though she does deserve to suffer a bit for how she's acted, she didn't deserve that ending. So here's my POV.

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When he looked at the girl, woman really, who was carefully applying rouge in the mirror he almost didn't recognize her. She looked like a stranger; was a stranger really. With her fake, perfect laughter and the darkly shadowed eyes he could almost say truthfully that he did not know that woman. Part of him wanted to say he didn't know her at all. It was as if his sister was dead anyway.

She noticed him staring in the mirror and frowned, eyes at once serious and glassy. Dead eyes. Hopeless eyes. But then that Cheshire-cat smile was back on her face and she turned to face him in the gorgeous navy dress that their mother had given to her. He didn't know why their mother encouraged her, outwardly she praised her daughter's social success, but there were times where he could see their mother sadly looking at a picture of when they were all younger. Younger and happier.

"Oh really, sometimes you look at me like the world is falling apart." She said, tucking a stray piece of hair back into its rigid up-do. He remembered when her hair used to fall freely down to her knees.

"Maybe it is." He muttered, leaning against the banister.

"What was that?" She asked, applying even more makeup to her face. He wanted to tell her that she looked like a clown. She had always looked more beautiful without any makeup or trappings at all. All she had needed was a smile back then.

But maybe that was the issue; she didn't even have that anymore. He wondered if Aslan would have let her stay if he knew this is what was going to happen to her. If he had known she was going to turn out like this.

"Nevermind." He sighed, pushing off the banister to stand next to her.

Maybe this was the whole point. It was all a matter of faith, right?

"Why won't you come to the party with me? A lot of my friends have expressed an interest in meeting you and we'd have such a fabulous time."

He shuddered slightly at the thought of being pawed at those vapid and thoughtless girls. But the thought of watching his beloved, once gentle and once the most beautiful creature in an entire land, melting over those pompous and so-called 'gentlemen' bothered him the most.

"Why don't you come with us to the train station? I'm sure Lucy would love to see you, as well as Peter. You know he has to get back to University soon."

A moment. A single grain of sand of time he saw the façade crack and his glorious sister, gentle sister, majestic sister break through. Her face was one of absolute grief and was completely heartbreaking. The Queen in her could be locked away, but couldn't be washed away completely, as much as she might hope. A small part of her still believed.

In a second the cherry red smile was back and she added the finishing touch of perfume.

"But I could never miss this party, it's the most important social highlight of the season and I just _have_ to be there."

A wounded, but tired look met her eyes in the mirror.

"Even more important than your family?"

Her eyes were suddenly frigid. "What do I have to do with a family that continues to believe in fairytales?"

_Everything_. His mind responded. But out loud he responded differently, "I suppose nothing. I suppose our faith is silly and outdated."

She smiled that hated smile at him and turned around again to praise him, but as she met his eyes, those eyes who had smiled at her, looked gently at her, held concern for her, held _love_ for her, she forgot what she was about to say.

He looked brokenly at her. "But it's what we believe, and we can't just _abandon_ it as you have."

He looked at her as if looking at a stranger, and she suddenly felt very cold. A shiver swept over her as she thought of never seeing those thoughtful eyes again, or hearing Lucy's laugh or feeling the comfort of Peter's hug. She had felt loved, but now all she ever felt was cold. Empty.

He gazed at her for one more moment, and then sighed and shook his head, apparently not finding what he was looking for. He started to walk towards the door and her eyes followed his every moment. With his hand on the handle he stopped and, without turning around, softly spoke.

"Goodbye, Su."

Su. No one ever called her Su anymore. Her new friends always called her Susan or Suzzy, but never Su. She watched helplessly, desperately as he opened the door and stepped out into the rain, the door clicking behind him with an air of finality.

A sudden seizing in her chest stopped her breathe for a long moment and when she could breathe again she realized she was gasping. A couple seconds later and she attempted to compose herself, grabbing the first makeup brush she saw to apply more powder to her face. As she went to find the powder, her eyes fell upon the small lion statue that Lucy had given her for her last birthday. Normally she put it away, except for when Lucy came so that way she wouldn't be upset, but she had forgotten to put away after last time.

The eyes of the lion looked at her strangely disapproving at her and she shuddered and looked at the mirror. Suddenly she saw an image of herself looking old and worn out, with makeup caked on her face and tear tracks marring her visage. She looked sad. She looked lonely. She looked lost.

Throwing the powder down and forgetting everything as she ran to the door and threw it open, she barely remembered to grab a coat as she dashed down the steps. She didn't even stop to lock or close the door, just ran like a madwoman down the street, her gorgeous silk dress ruined by the rain and her hair undone. And her makeup, the layers and hours of detail, ran in rivulets down her face, and she didn't pay it a moments regard.

She saw his back, hunched and defeated, as he was about to step into a cab. Seized by a moment of panic she ran faster and screamed his name in desperation.

"EDMUND! EDMUND PLEASE WAIT! EDMUND DON'T LEAVE!" He stopped getting into the cab and turned to her direction, startled at her appearance and demeanor.

"Su, what-" But whatever he was about to say was abruptly cut off as she threw herself into his arms, tears intermingling with the rain.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me, I just couldn't believe, I was so hurt. Please forgive me, I'm so sorry, so sorry. Just don't leave, please I'm so sorry!" She babbled on and on until Edmund stopped her and looked at her.

She was a complete mess, hair in her face, black makeup streaming down her face, face red from running and her outfit a mess, but she hadn't looked more beautiful in years.

He smiled at her and she tentatively smiled back, her blue eyes begging for forgiveness.

He kissed her lightly on the forehead and pulled her towards the cab that was patiently waiting.

"I forgive you. We forgive you." He said simply, pulling her in the cab where she sat close to him and leaned on his arm like she hadn't done in years, when they were older.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you." She kept murmuring, a fervent prayer to him and to anyone who would listen.

And as they drove towards the train station where they would meet up with the rest of their family, Edmund couldn't help but feel a deep sense of relief and thankfulness towards the Great Lion who he knew had saved his sister.

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Loved it, hated it? Want to throw me off a bridge, let me know!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So I realize I fail in cannon since it's actually originally Peter and Edmund that go to the train station to wait for Lucy, Digory, Polly, Eustace and Jill but I guess I'm messing with cannon anyway? Oh well. Anyway, I decided to write this chapter after the fantastic response I got for the first installment. There will be one more chapter after this and I hope it lives up to the first part! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: This awesome story/characters belong to C.S. Lewis! I'm just borrowing for my amusement.

Feedback: Constructive and otherwise is always greatly appreciated. =)

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She couldn't stop fidgeting.

Susan pulled at her dress, still wet from the rain outside. It refused to untangle itself from her legs, molding to her body and showing off her figure in the most inappropriate way. Even with her coat on she couldn't help but feel very exposed. She glanced at her reflection in a pool of water collecting on the ground and winced at the image.

For heaven's sake, she looked like a drowned rat. What was she doing here anyway? She grumbled to herself darkly in her mind. She didn't belong here, standing dripping wet in a train station like a silly girl when she should have been warm at the party with Tom, the banker.

A movement by her elbow disrupted her thought. A glance to her right showed Edmund looking calmly at his pocket watch that their father had given him for his fourteenth birthday. Susan Pevensie, once known as Susan the Gentle to the people of a land that she was just starting to believe in again, became ashamed. Her fidgeting instantly stilled and she let the dress drip on to her shoes.

Really, what did it matter if the rain ruined her shoes? They were just things. Susan turned around to glance at the clock that was stationed at the entrance to the main hall. She and Edmund were currently waiting on the platform for the train that was supposed to get in at 4:25. The clock currently read 4:15.

Ten more minutes.

There never seemed to be enough time, Susan thought as she watched a child be picked up by her father as they moved on to the train. Never enough time to get ready. Never really a good time either. There never seemed to be time to go visit her parents in London. Or to visit Peter at the University or Ed still at school, or even Lucy…

A drop of water fell from the cracked ceiling and on to Susan's head, running down onto her face. Susan sighed but didn't move it away. She let the cold liquid slid down her cheek, down her chin and drop off onto the ground below her to collect with the rest of the rain that had formed a small puddle.

Lucy and Susan had been so close once upon a time. They used to tell each other everything. Every hidden dream, every hope and desire. Now Susan couldn't remember the last time she had even talked to Lucy. Of course they still wrote letters but nothing meaningful was ever written. At least on Susan's side. Lucy would talk about the wonderful adventures and stories going on at home and beg Susan to come visit. Susan would write back about the latest fashions and parties and how she was really just too busy to come visit! A wave of guilt overcame the brunette. She never visited Lucy.

Another look around the station revealed a group of school boys walking into a waiting train. Two of them were pushing each other around and laughing. Both boys were brunette and didn't look a thing like Edmund or Peter but they way they laughed and then slung an arm around each other's necks as they stepped on to the train belied their close relationship. Peter and Edmund were that close. She could recall the image of them fighting back to back in various battles. Peter always charging into the fray; the hero without concern for himself. Edmund the loyal brother looking after his King; the quiet hero. They hadn't always been so close, so protective but after their first adventure in Narnia…Susan swallowed hard. It was still difficult to think about that place and what it meant know that she was starting to believe in her heart of hearts that it was real again. She didn't even want to think of what Aslan…

No. She couldn't go there. Not right now. The thought that _He_ might be disappointed in her was more than she could bear at the moment. She glanced at the clock. 4:20.

Five more minutes.

Susan bit her lip and looked down at her bright red painted fingernails. One of the nails was chipped, she noticed disinterestedly. It really was a hideous color, she decided after longer examination. She'd have to take off the polish as soon as she got home.

Home. What a word. She wasn't even sure what it meant to her anymore. A place to stay, to entertain, to have guests. That wasn't a home. She looked at Edmund long enough for him to glance curiously back at her. Family was home. Heart made a home. A sudden wave of guilt and nervousness swept over her and she glanced at the clock again. 4:22

Three more minutes.

She turned to go. She didn't belong here anymore. Susan had made it clear that she hadn't wanted anything to do with her family and that she didn't want them in her new life. She was disgusted with herself. Peter wouldn't be happy to see her there. Lucy wouldn't even be able to look her in the face. She had taken two steps when she felt a hand close around her elbow.

"Hey. Where do you think you're going?" Edmund's voice was playful, joking even, but held a quiet authority. "You're not leaving."

Susan turned and faced him, distressed. "They won't want me here, Ed. It's not my place. I screwed everything up." She looked down and felt pressure gather behind her eyes. "I don't belong here."

"If you didn't belong here then why are you standing here in a wet dress with ruined makeup?" The quiet young man asked gently. Susan looked up at him annoyed, a little bit of her old fire back in her eyes.

"Because someone is annoying and ran out of my apartment without waiting for me!" Susan glowered as best she could with her so called 'ruined makeup'. The effect was less than impressive.

Edmund chuckled. "There's the Susan I know." He turned around, swinging an arm around her shoulders as he went.

Walking a little further on to the platform he turned to Susan, arm still positioned around her. Edmund spoke low. "We all miss you Sue. And while you might think that Peter hates you and Lucy may never look at you again-" And how did he read her mind like that? "You're wrong. They miss you. We all miss you. And it will be nice to have you with us again. Where you belong." He lowered his arm and pulled out his pocket watch to glance at it. 4:24.

One minute.

"I'm not saying it will be all fine and dandy." Edmund warned, putting the watch away again. "There might be fighting and crying and apologizing, but we'll forgive you. That's what siblings are for." Edmund smiled crookedly before a thin, and yet surprisingly strong, brunette threw herself into his arms.

"Oh I've missed you Ed. I really have. I'm so sorry." Susan whispered into his coat, tears leaking out of squeezed shut eyes.

Edmund chuckled again and pressed a kiss to the top of Sue's head. "I know."

A loud screeching of metal brought the siblings apart as they turned to face the approaching train.

"Ahh, here's their train." Edmund said, squinting at the oncoming locomotive.

"It seems to be coming in quite fast." Susan said with a note of worry in her voice. Edmund's eyes widened as the screaming train hit a bend and with a shriek of metal tore off the track. Everything went to chaos as different parts of the train went everywhere. Columns smashed, people crumpled as train and building fell onto them and screams started.

One of the cars tore apart from the rest of the train and tumbled over the platform, racing at Edmund and Susan. Edmund grabbed Susan's armed and tore around to run-

But there was nowhere to go. Susan's terrified blue eyes barely had the time to meet Edmund's shocked brown ones before everything disappeared into a sea of pain, fear, and blinding white.

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Stick around for chapter three which will hopefully come around soon!


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